Common Discipline Mistakes When Disciplining Children
Some of the most common discipline mistakes Moms and Dads make when disciplining children! How can we avoid them.
Losing Your Composure, Temper and Coolness
When you continuously scream at your children, they will end up yelling back at you. Is that fun for you Mom and Dad! Of course not. Children are actually more responsive to calm requests (low voice) and commands.
Your Children Are Children! Treating Children as Small Adults. Big Mistake!
I understand you wanting your children to know that they are heard, Don’t make the mistake of letting them think that they have an equal say in the rules of the household. This is a Dictatorship for now (parent/child relationship) not a democracy. As your children get older, Moms and Dads can explain the reasoning behind their decisions. Make it simple!Inconsistent Discipline, Moms And Dads, You Must Be consistent!
It’s important that parents are consistent when disciplining in order to avoid making their children confused about guidelines, rules and consequences. For example, if action A leads to consequence B, it needs to do so every time.Inappropriate Punishments Do More Harm Than Good!
Punishments should be a natural and logical. Consequence of the punishable behavior. If the punishment isn’t fair, you can lose the opportunity to “teach” your child through the act of disciplining because your child’s focus will be why he was punished so unfairly, in other words the punishment does not fit the crime.Unhealthy Praise, Which Is Better Too Much Or Too Little?
Be careful of praising your children way too much or way too little. Adequate praise can be healthy and build self-esteem, but if overused, it can leave a child feeling inadequate when he/she doesn’t receive it. Give affirmation for positive behavior and more than likely your child will repeat the good behaviors that bring appreciation.Bribery No, Negotiating Yes!
Bribery is not a healthy or effective form of motivation for children. You want your children to learn right from wrong regardless of whether or not there is a reward for behaving in an appropriate way. Sometimes you may have to negotiate with them, but you are still the boss. They must respect authority.Disagreeing on Rules, Moms and Dads, You have to stay united!
Never disagree on discipline in front of your children. Moms and Dads must present a united front to their kids when enforcing rules. Otherwise, they will quickly learn how to “divide you and conquer you.” Ouch!
Define Your Children’s Currency.
Find out what your child is made out of, find out his or hers values — it could be a gadget, a precious toy, an outing, a particular activity, or even a privilege like getting to stay awake till Mom and dad go to bed on weekends. “If you the Parents control the currency, you control the behavior that currency depends on.” Once you understand what your children value, you can withdraw positive things (taking away the toy) or introduce negative things (making them take a time-out) as a form of discipline.My best definition of currency when disciplining children is as follows: a time or period during which something is widely accepted and circulated.
What to Do When Mom And Dad Disagree on Discipline
Disciplining children can turn Mom against Dad, even in the best of relationships where Mom and Dad are solid in their marriage. Mom and Dad disagree on how to punish their children, and argue about it so much that Dad often leaves to spend the night in a hotel. Sometimes Dad believes in spanking, and Mom believes that their kids deserve a second chance when they’ve done something wrong.
One good tip for those who do not have children yet. Talk about it and come a conclusion that you both agree on. But for those Mom’s and Da’s who already have children and didn’t talk about it. You both need to also come to an agreeable conclusion.
Do you disagree with your spouse on how to punish your child? What can a couple do when they want to raise their children so differently?
My advice for parents who argue about how to react when their children misbehave: ( We have 3 daughters 22 16 and 7) Recognize that Arguing in front of Your Children is bad bad bad…
No child likes to see his or her parents fight. When you argue about what to do with your kids, you create a troubling environment for them, which could have serious long-tem effects in their skulls full of mush.. Fighting with your spouse shifts the focus away from your child — and how they can learn to stop misbehaving — and on to a “parent versus parent” situation.Dad, make a date with Mom and go do your favorite thing and come up with a solution that you both can live with.
Negotiate a Plan in your favorite water hole. If you don’t like water holes, got to dinner, the park..anywhere but in front of your children….
Sit down with your spouse and try to agree on ways to discipline at a time when nothing is wrong. When you discuss things calmly, you’re more likely to come up with a plan you can both stick to. This will allow you to talk about what’s best for your children, and not about “who’s right.” Because the best marriages work together.United Moms and Dad’s raise better patriotic citizens
Kids get it, when their parents feel differently about disciplining, no matter how old they are. Children will often get away with misbehaving simply by creating an argument between Mom and Dad and they do it on purpose. And this not only lets them off the hook, it creates a problem between Mom and Dad. Make sure that your child sees both parents following the same guidelines, no matter what the scenario. Once your kids start receiving the same treatment from both parents, they’ll stop using your disagreements as a way to avoid punishment.
I started this blog in November 2011, I had an idea but I couldn’t quite put it together because I wanted to combine parenting, patriotism and my mystery passion, that you will soon figure out without me having to tell you.. Hint: my tag line on my header. As I’m continuing the blog is really taking off a lot better than I anticipated. It’s work in progress just like The Tea Party! Definitely fits in with my devotion for love of country and my passion for humanity… Please join me on the biggest fight of our lifetime. Sign up for the Be A Better Daddy Today Newsletter so we can get to know each other and I will give you instant access to THE PARENTING HANDBOOK that I personally created.
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good post
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